Pitter Patter Goes My Heart
by therap
Summary: We've never been this close before. She looks at me in the eyes. I can't breathe.
1. Chapter 1

I walk past the rows of desks into the back pretending I don't see her, but I always do. She's always so afraid to turn her head, to look back and see me but when she does, I stare straight ahead. I can't deal with these emotions these feelings I have. It's easier to act oblivious and pretend I don't know anything. There have always been girls who have hit on me, but I just keep telling myself they're just really damn friendly. People can be friendly to people without liking them, right? Enough said.

I take my usual seat in the way back. I don't usually like to pay attention when the teacher decides to tell one of her stories; you know the ones she thinks everyone finds extremely fascinating and goes on and on…you get the point. I take my usual notepad and begin to doodle over my paper, occasionally glancing up to stare at that blond head. What? To my defense her head blocks the chalkboard. She has a big head, sort of. She looks back again. She always turns her head pretending to listen to someone's conversation, or to look at some bimbo who decided to make some loud noise and disturb the class. We never make eye contact, but I feel her watching.

I turn my head and pretend to look at the time, wait is she still watching? I look forward and read some stupid quote on the top of the chalkboard "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." Oh great. Is God trying to tell me something? I think I'll look at the clock again. One more minute…..RING. Thank you Lord, this class always drags on forever. I gather my stuff and look up to see her already excited the room. She always does that you know? I know she's probably more afraid then I am. But what do I know. I'm not a mind reader.

I walk down the stairs and into the court yard. I have a free hour so i grab my ipod...the _only _love of my life. Yeah that's right. I don't love people. Who needs the drama? I dated Aiden my sophmore year and that was it. I knew from that point on i was no longer interested in human beings. We're still friends though, come to think of it, he's my only friend, but he knows i like my space. My ipod speaks to me more then anyone else does. Beautiful, meaningful words. What else could a girl ask for? I lie down under Charlie. My tree i lay under everyday this time of day. I figured I would name him since we spend so much time together. He's a really good listener. No, I'm not crazy if that's what your thinking.

I turn the volume up and lay down under Charlie. The suns so nice and warm. It gives me a pretty good tan this time of year. That's what i love so much about LA. You never have to deal with suffocating cold weather that tries to dry your skin until you crack. I would know too. I went to Colorado once. I don't really remember that much, I was young. Hey Charlie your blocking my sun. _No answer. _Charlie...

I feel someone watch me. It feels so familiar, almost peaceful. What? It's nice to feel wanted, even if I'm not interested in humans. I look up to see that blond hair I look at so often. It's kind of nice seeing it from the front. It suits her face. She looks scared, shifting from one foot to another, she's still not looking me in the eyes. A part of me wants her to. I wonder what color they are. I think she's trying to pretend she doesn't see me. It's kind of obvious though I'm one of the only people out in the court yard. I'm suprised I haven't noticed we have the same free period after that annoyingly long class. This long silence is starting to annoy me. I pause my ipod and look up at her, still she doesn't do anything. I stand up a few steps away from her. Why do I feel like all of the sudden I'm making a move. She's closer now. Wait? She didn't move did she?..Damn feet. I move closer placing my hand on her arm. We've never been this close before. She looks at me in the eyes. I can't breathe. Did someone cut off my oxygen supply? She smiled warmly, and it's the first time I notice her eyes, her stunning blue eyes.

She takes my other hand in hers and softly moves her finger over lifelines. I feel myself burning everywhere she touches me. I look in her eyes again. They're so soft and clear.

"Hey" I say shakily. The first words we've ever spoken after all the times she's watched me and I'm the one nervous?

"Hi" She smiles burning holes through my eyes.

"Come, sit down" I say leading her down under Charlie "I'm Ashley by the way" Our hands are still connected, what a strange way to introduce yourself.

She look down at our fingers interlaced and moves them into a hand shaking position. "Spencer" She replies shaking my hand.

I can't help but smile. What is this girl doing to me?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks to those of you who reviewed so far...I never know if it's worth continuing so let me know what you think :) Oh, and sorry for the short update, if it's worth continuing I'll make the next chapter extra long!

The bell rings signaling the end of our free hour, I've never been good with goodbyes. I feel awkward staring at her. I feel myself getting lost in her eyes again. This is all too much. I stand up gathering my things to leave when she lightly grabs me around the wrist. God, those eye's again. I feel like she has some magnetic pull bringing me back to them every time I look away.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asks softly, sweetly, innocently…damn those eyes.

"Um…" I begin. Good job, way to sound like an intellectual Davies. "Sure, yeah, I'll see you." I always do see you, you just don't know it.

She smiles at this and I feel my lips forming into another natural smile. I can't even remember the last time someone's made me smile this much. It feels kind of nice actually. I give a quick wave and she returns one as I walk to my next class. I feel myself grinning like an idiot. Is this what winning the lottery feels like? No, probably not, but it feels pretty damn good.

The next thing I know schools over for the day. I really can't remember anything the teachers droned on about today, but really who cares? It's the same everyday. I decide to stroll through the halls, I'm in no rush, and maybe, I'll happen to run into a certain blond blue eyed—ok I'm stopping there. I wonder what she does after school. I don't think I've ever seen her before this year. It's like she came out of nowhere. Maybe she's new…ok now I just feel stupid, of course she is.

My train of thought is cut off by that familiar feeling and I know she's near. I think I've developed a Spencer sensor. Ha, Spencer sensor. She's standing in front of the gym entrance talking to some cheerleader. I wonder what that's all about. I start to approach her and she tilts her head and smiles. I feel like I just melted onto the ground.

"Hey" I begin, trying to sound casual. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, well I just found out I made the cheerleading squad. My first practice is today actually, and I guess there's some sort of dance after the big game tonight…"

If it's possible to feel your heart drop, that's exactly what mine just did. Cheerleaders mean one thing, no, take that back one word…Madison. My head feels like its spinning, I feel like I just won the lottery and lost it all in one day. The girl who tore the life right out of me is going to be dictating Spencer's life from now on.

"Hey are you ok?" She asks. I know by the look in her eyes that she's concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I just don't want to lose you, not that I have you or anything, but still… "So, you cheer? I didn't peg you as the type"

"Yeah, well, I'm not what most people expect" Wait, is she hinting something?

"Yeah I know what you mean" I really do. I mean… if I wasn't so obviously not attracted to human beings, you might just say I'm hiding who I am, a little bit, maybe.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Woo! I updated :) Enjoy.**

**Italics are flashbacks btw.**

"Hey, so are you going to the game?" Spencer asked me looking impossibly cute. She must wear contacts because her eyes are unnaturally blue. I think I've been staring to long because she raises her eyebrow.

"Oh, haha me, uh, no…I don't go to those…" I think Spencer's making me lose my cool. Every time I'm around this girl I feel like I sound like a complete retard. Now that I think about the game…I probably should go and support Aiden but who want to deal with all the cheer bitches anyways.

"Oh, ok" She looks disappointed and I can't help but feel….bad? Oh man, I am so going to regret this.

"But, you know, if you want me to I'll go" I say flashing my award winning Davies smile. I see her face light up and she looks me in the eyes. Maybe it is worth it.

"That's great! Of course I want you to!" She smiles at me unconsciously grabbing my arm. "So, it starts at seven and I'll be performing at half time, it the big routine, you know?"

"Yeah, ok, I'll be there" I smile and starting to walk off I turn my shoulder "See you there" She looks at me and quickly looks down blushing. Yeah that's right, I'm gaining my cool back.

I walked back to my car and headed home, tonight is definitely going to be interesting. I guess I'll see what kind of person Spencer really is. I ran upstairs to my room and decided to get some sleep, God knows I'll need it.

"_Omg, Ashley look at those two girls that's disgusting" Madison spat looking at two girl making out at the far end or the bar._

"_Oh, yeah, eww" My voice dripping with sarcasm, but I doubt she noticed._

"_I'll be right back" Madison squealed. God her voice is so annoying, I don't know why I stay friends with her. Oh yeah, right I remember, because I have none. I'm pathetic._

_I watch as Madison walks over to the two, incredibly hot, I might add, girls and starts waving her hand in the air probably telling them how gross they are and to get the hell out and go to a gay bar. Oh, does that sound nice right now…hmmm. _

_Madison walks back over to me. "Can you believe those two? And in public like that, it's just so wrong." You're an idiot. _

"_Yeah…" I say staring at the two girls, who decided to ignore Madison's bitchy ways, and make out again. "But, there are so hot" I mumble. Shit! I hope she didn't hear that…oh fuck, fuck, fuck…_

"_What?!" Madison practically screamed, oh shit, ok come on, think of a cover up._

"_I said… they're so wrong." I say it slowly and confidently so she doesn't think I'm lying,_

_She looks at me as if she questioning everything about me and then turns her heel "I'm going to get a drink chica, maybe Aiden's here tonight!" She smiled and walked away. _

_She was always pinning over Aiden, but it was so obvious he liked me. Madison really doesn't have a clue. I'm not interested in him at all, or any guy for that matter. I'm actually surprised Madison's just now questioning my liking for girls._

_From that night on Madison had always looked at me strangely. She studied the way I looked at people, especially girls. I had to be more careful from then on. I did the only thing I could. I mean, I know how hard it is to be out in high school and I really don't want to deal with that shit. _

_I went out with Aiden._

_Yeah, he was a complete jock, but he was actually kind of nice. If I wasn't completely gay, I would probably like him a lot. Madison, however…flipped shit. She did everything she could to destroy me. She took her cheer bitches and wrote stuff on my locker, all that kind of immature crap. _

_Surprisingly Aiden was there for me, and when I told him I was gay he was totally cool with it and knew we were better as friends anyway. He kind of replaced Madison, and when I decided it was safe not to have him as a cover anymore, I stopped dating him. I knew Madison wouldn't forget my slip up at the bar, but now people wouldn't question my sexuality, as much._

_Madison will never stop being a bitch. I know she knows I'm gay._

I woke up to the sound of my phone beeping and looked at the clock. I had an hour before the game, but I wanted to go in for half time. I flipped open my phone to read a text from Kyla. _Hey sis, I'm not gonna b home tonite. I'll see you tomorrow maybe we can hang!_

Ok, so maybe I said I only have one friend, but my sister is the only person in this world that I love. Even though we've only known each other for two years, we're extremely close. I tell her everything, surprisingly, and yes, that means she knows I'm gay. I text her back _Sure sounds good, I'm going to the game tonite :O wish me luck… :( _

She replies right away_Oh damn, why?!_ I text back _A girl…_

_Awww Ashley's falling for a girlllyyy r u coming out of the closet yet :p?_ Oh gosh. Kyla can be so annoying sometimes. _No I'm not coming out of anything see ya tomorrow Ky_

And with that I go to my closet and begin to get ready for the game. I have to look hot. I smile...of course I will, I always do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Alright here's an update. Let me know what you think. Reviews are really appreciated.**

I'm standing outside the gym entrance. I can hear the crowd cheering obnoxiously. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I take a deep breath and swing the door open just in time for the half time buzzer to go off.

I begin my way to the back of the bleachers trying to 'blend' in with the crowd. It's so obvious this isn't my scene anyone with eyes could tell. I look down at the cherbit—I mean cheerleaders and spot Spencer chatting with some jock. Why did I come again?

They should be starting their routine soon; yep there they go off in their formations. I try to contain an eye roll as Madison shouts "Ok let's lets go!" in that annoyingly fake voice. I look back over to Spencer's worried face and she looks like she scanning the entire crowd for someone. She smirks when she finally finds me.

They begin their routine but I didn't really notice what anyone else was doing. Spencer kept her eyes locked with mine the entire time. If it's possible to feel yourself completely lit on fire, minus the painful burn, I felt it. She swayed her hips side to side in rhythm with the music. She's actually an incredible dancer, not that I care…or anything.

The routine finally ended with a final wink from Spencer. God, she's so into me. I wonder if anyone else noticed. I couldn't help but smile back. What? I had to throw her a bone, she was practically undressing me with her eyes the entire routine. I still don't like her though…

I watch as Spencer starts to head off to the locker room. I contemplate leaving but I don't want her to be disappointed if I leave without talking to her. I mean I'm not a total bitch. I wait patiently pretending to watch the game. Aiden scores a couple more baskets and that new blond guy…I don't remember his name, scores some more. I think there's only like ten more minutes till the games over.

These benches are so uncomfortable; and to think I could be at home right now in my nice cozy bed. Ok, that sounds kind of lame…I don't always stay home on Friday nights. People just don't deserve to be graced with my incredibly hot presence, ha!

Finally! I watch as Spencer emerges from the locker room. It looks like she showered her hairs a little damp. She looks up at the bleachers finding me immediately and makes her way up.

"Hey you made it" She smiles. Of course I did I told you I would…

"Yeah, you know my other plans fell through…" I smile and she laughs.

"Yeah, sure…So we're all going to head out to Gray's after the game over, which is pretty soon, do you what to come?"

Does she think I came all the way here to watch her perform in a small miniskirt and tight tank top?

"Sure, yeah, I'll come, but I should probably go and change" I say and start to stand.

"Yeah, I need to too. Do you think you could give me a ride? I mean if you want to I just thought since you were already leaving…"

Aww, she's babbling. It's kind of cute, kind of.

"No, its fine, stop it I'll give you a ride already, jeesh" I smile and she laughs.

We make our way out of the gym. Thank you Lord! I didn't have to run into Madison, but there's always later at the club. I hit the button to unlock the car and the lights flash.

"That's….that's your car, I mean, wow" Spencer said wide eyed.

"Yep, that's my baby" I love my Porsche. It's one of the best things that ever happened in my life.

She's still staring at my car. It's like she's contemplating whether she should actually enter it. Where is this girl from?

"What you've never seen a Porsche before?" I smile…I mean I didn't want to come off as rude.

"No, no, I mean not in Ohio. Most people can't afford that much; I lived in a pretty small town"

So, that's where she's from, Ohio. That has to suck going somewhere new your junior year.

"Oh, well come on, let's go"

She smiles, again. She embarrassed, probably because I broke her out of another trance of eyeing my car. Poor Porsche he's probably feeling raped. I take that back he probably enjoyed every bit of it, pervert.

"I'm just going to stop by my house first if you don't mind" I say pulling into my drive way.

She has that complete shocked look again. It's quite possibly one of the cutest things I've seen a human do. I wonder if she's knows how attractive….I mean, ugh, never mind.

"Home sweet home" I smile. She looks at me and then back towards the house.

"Wow" was all she said.

We entered the house and I had to practically drag her up the stairs to my room; she was eyeing up my house too. Spencer sat on my bed comfortably and I went to my closet to pick out some clothes. It's amazing how this girl has never been her before and watching her just sit in my room, it looks like she belongs here.

I look around my closet for something hot. I mean I know Spencer's already completely hot over me, but I need to make sure. I pulled out a jean mini-mini... skirt and a black halter top that showed plenty of cleavage, but not enough to look like a whore if that's what you're thinking.

I excited the closet and my thoughts were confirmed, she wants me.

"Hey Spencer you might want to wipe the drool off you face"

What? I couldn't resist she looked like she was in la la land, wherever that is; probably somewhere involving me.

Spencer looked down her face turning bright red. It was utterly adorable. This girl is just so damn cute. Ok, I said it she's adorable.

"Spencer, I'm kidding" I say trying to control my laughter. "I know I look hot" I smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, are you almost done…I have to get ready" She smirks.

I finish looking incredibly hot and try to avoid the constant feeling of being watched as I walk around my room. It wasn't like she was giving me sex eyes though, I honestly felt adored. I couldn't help but feel happy, the happiest I've felt in a while.


	5. Chapter 5

We're in the car now and Spencer's giving me directions to her house. I pulled in the driveway of a cute two story house in the suburbs…typical.

"You can come in if you want, I won't be that long" She smiles and fidgets with her fingers.

She so obviously wants me to go inside. This is a little awkward. I mean, going inside is just furthering the friendship, or whatever it is, isn't it? I'll probably even have to meet her parents and doesn't that make things official or something?

I mean she's as straight as a ruler, and me? I'm about as curved as a ball, a ball in a closet… It doesn't really matter though; I mean I don't like people. I don't love and people don't love me back. It's a simple game really. No one gets hurt that way.

I'm about to open my mouth to speak when she tugs my arm out of the car. Wait! What? When did she exit the car? How did she already walk around to my door? She's seriously like an alien or something.

"Come on Ashley! It will only take a second" She laughs. My expression is most likely dumfounded as she drags me across her lawn and through the door.

I hold my breath as we enter. I know somewhere there has to be relatives, people related to Spencer and if I meet them, that means we're friends and we are most definitely not! I Ashley Davies do not have friends, they're too much work. In the end they just stab you in the back anyways. I'm only stuck with Aiden as a friend because he probably feels sorry for me.

I look around the house and let out a breath of relief to find the house dark and empty, just the way I like it.

"Everyone's still at the game, they should be home soon" Oh. Yeah the game, I almost forgot.

"Oh ok" I say back as she flips on the light switch and grabs my hand leading me up the stairs. Oh God, electric shock. She must be from another planet.

Do friends interlace fingers like this or is it just me? We're heading through her doorway now and she still hasn't let go. Her room is nice, kind of plain but nice. You can tell they moved in recently because there are still a couple of boxes left on the floor.

She goes to her closet to pick out clothes or whatever and I'm left standing there awkwardly. I glance around the room and see a picture frame by her bed side. I go closer and notice she's….WHAT?!

She's…she's gay? No freaking way.

I think I'm having a panic attack or something. The photograph tells all. She's smiling at the camera next to some girl kissing her cheek. This is way too much. I should never have come here. I'm not looking to date someone, because obviously I don't like people.

I'm still bending over looking at the picture when Spencer comes up behind me. I nearly knock the frame off the table but quickly catch it before it drops.

"Hey…" She says in a whisper. "Are you ok?"

"No, yeah, fine, you just scared me…you know" I quickly say. She looks at the ground fidgeting with her fingers again. She does that when she's nervous you know?

"I uh see you found out my dirty little secret" She laughs nervously. I can tell she hasn't told anyone else. Well, at least none of the cheer bitches.

"Oh, you know, its cool" I try to sound casual but I know I'm failing miserably.

"It's ok, you know, if it freaks you out you don't have to come tonight, it's just, when I saw you during class I couldn't keep my eyes away from you, and I thought I would take a chance, so here it is." Oh dear Lord. I knew there was probably a reason she kept looking at me.

Maybe if I just stare out the window she won't notice I'm here. No you're right that's not going to work. She takes a timid step towards me and grabs me hand slowly. I flinch and she starts to pull back, but being the nice person I am I hold on.

Her hands are so warm and soft. I bet she moisturizes them. She starts to get and closer to me and my body's not cooperating with my mind and it won't let me pull away. Closer and closer she inches towards me. I can almost feel her breath on my skin. Everything in my mind is saying to pull away. I can already feel the pain that love is trying to push into me. My body is tingling as my eyes are locked with hers. She moves her lips and goes for it, but I can't.

I lightly pull away. I know she hasn't gotten the memo that I don't like humans so I won't be rude.

"I don't like…." Humans? People? Eh, what should I say…broken hearts? Bleeding insides that have been cut so deep they never seem to heal all the way? "…I can't…we should be friends…" Wow. That really sounded great. Good job Davies. I forgot about the no friends rule.

I look up finally to the soft skin that was a mere inch away, stepping back. I feel my heart dropping with every second going by as I see the look on her face, possibly broken? Invisible nails are leaving trails on my insides. Why the hell does this hurt so much? I don't even like this girl. I don't like anyone!

"We should get going…everyone's probably going to be there" She says in a barely audible tone.

She shouldn't feel this way. She should have known I don't like to be with people. She should have known because we had a class together and I never looked at her, well at least when she was looking. Why do I feel like I'm burning and not the good burn, the flaming death burn, I don't get it.

I walk down the stairs quietly behind her as we exit the house and I start my car. If I thought things were awkward before, I can't even describe what I'm feeling now. Her blue eyes haven't looked at me once as she gives me directions to the club. I on the other hand feel like I can't keep my eyes off of her.

**A/N Review? I'll love you forever.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Just pull in right here" She mumbles as I find a spot in the parking lot of Gray's. 

The place looks pretty packed. I haven't been here since I was friends with Madison. The music is blaring through and I can already smell the alcohol. I look over as Spencer exits the car and starts towards the entrance, I follow her. She's wearing the shortest skirt and the tightest top. I feel like she's punishing me for not taking her right there in her room.

All of this drama has made me completely forget the fact that Madison her minions and the entire basketball team is going to be in there. I'm beginning to forget why I'm here. I mean, Spencer's mad at me and the entire cheer squad hates me… I can understand why Spencer hates me though; I did sort of lead her on.

She hasn't looked back once to see if I was still behind her as she maneuvers through the sea of people. I see her heading towards Madison and I stop. There's no way I'm going to sit with her. I turn around and make my way over to the bar and take a seat. Spencer finally looks back to see if I'm following and glances over at the bar and looks at me. She quickly turns and takes a seat next to the cheerbitches.

"Whiskey on the rocks" I say to the bartender. He looks at me skeptically until I show him my fake ID

"Right away" He smiles and pours me my drink.

Yeah, I'm planning on getting completely wasted tonight. There's not really anything else to do. I can see all the pathetic jocks looking at Spencer like she's the new eye candy. She's laughing and smiling. It's all so fake.

Her blonde hair looks perfect tonight. She has it down and her blue, tight, shirt just brings out her eyes. My eyes have been glued to this particular spot most of the night. I feel kind of stakerish, but I don't on the other hand. I mean it's not stalking if the person likes you right?

I smile lazily as I down another shot. The liquor burns down my throat. I'm at the place I want to be now. I feel…I don't feel anything. A warm hand slide down my arm and I turn to see a handsome brunette. He's probably like twenty something.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asks trailing his hand up and down my arm. He brings his hand and cups my face tracing my lips with his rough finger. He's so obviously drunk.

I look over to see Spencer shooting daggers at me. She whispers something to Madison and hurries off to the bathroom.

I look back up at the guy and remove his hand from my face. "No, I think I'm covered"

I hurry off to the bathroom. People blur past me as a stumble to the door almost tripping over my own feet. I see Spencer leaning over the sink and I know if I want this it has to be now. I've always hated drama, but I really just don't care anymore. Maybe it's time to be myself for once.

I walk slowly and she turns her head to look at me but doesn't say anything. Her face is doing doubles as I'm wobbling back and forth trying to reach her. I almost fall as I quickly grab the end off the sink. She doesn't attempt to help me, but, then again I don't expect her to.

I'm inches away from her now and breathe in her scent. It's making me dizzy she smells so good. Her blue eyes are burning holes through mine. I grab her body and pull it dangerously close to mine. Her eyes close for a second and she looks into my eyes again. I feel like she's seeing every part of me. In that split second my heart literally burst into tiny pieces and I wanted her more then I wanted anyone else.

I kiss her and I kiss her hard pushing her against the wall. I continuously kiss her soft lips and trail my lip against her bottom. Her mouth tastes like strawberries. All I want to do is explore this unfamiliar territory. I want to know every part of her. She moves slightly and I almost stumble to the ground. Fuck I'm drunk.

"Ashley stop" She whispers. "What are you doing? You're drunk" Her blue eyes look confused in hurt.

"I'm kissing you…" Isn't it a little obvious?

She pushes past me and starts for the bathroom door.

"No! Wait!" I grab her wrist in an attempt to pull her back. "I… I like you." I stutter out.

"Really? It didn't seem like you did earlier…or maybe it just has to do with the whiskey you've had." She says sarcastically.

"No, I do…I just…" I look around and then back up at her "I don't usually do this but I know that I want you…and that's all that matter to me right now."

Her face softens and she looks me in the eyes again. Her eyes are so breath taking. I feel my knees get weak and before I know it I've falling on the ground.

Spencer rushes over towards me helping me up "So you've fallen for me huh?" She laughs. I smile back at her as she holds me up around my waist. "I'll drive you home ok?" She whispers in my ear.

All I can do as smile as I feel my eyes lazily close in her embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I have another new story called Bad Sun you should check it out. It's really nothing like this story. I tend to change my writing style with all my stories; I guess I just get bored. Enjoy.**

My head is throbbing and the last thing I remember was having a couple shots at Gray's. The sun protruding through the soft pink curtains force my eye's closed again. Wait, what? I don't have pink curtains.

I quickly jerk my head up and feel a large wood head board behind me.

"Oww" I moan as I clutch onto the back of my head.

As if the hangover wasn't already enough, now I have double the pain. Thank you Jesus!

My eyes are watering and I'm trying to make out my surroundings. I honestly can't remember anything. I see a blond figure move towards me. If my vision wasn't so blurred I would have thought she was smirking.

"Here, I got you some pain killers" The blond hands me a glass of water.

I wiped my teary eyes and stare at her for a moment before realizing who it is. Now I just feel stupid. I swallow the pills dry and start to crawl off the bed.

"I should get going. Are we ok? I mean last night, everything that happened?" I say as I zip up my hoodie and walk backwards towards her door. My legs feel numb but I need to get out of here this is so awkward.

"Of course why wouldn't we be?" She tries and suppresses a smile but fails. Her cheeks are then lined with a deep shade of pink. This girl is so easily embarrassed.

"I don't know I just don't want things to be awkward with us just because you're gay and everything and I just want to be your friend or whatever." I start to turn the door knob but turn around when I don't hear her reply.

She looks like she just lost her puppy or something. What is with this girl? She was just fine earlier. She sighs and looks down at my feet.

"What exactly do you remember about last night" She asks me slowly.

"Well, you know, we went to Gray's and I had a couple drinks and you were with your friends…and I'm guessing you drove my car to your house?" Yeah I really don't remember that much but I'm pretty good at this guessing stuff.

It takes her a minute or two to reply before she looks up at me.

"Yeah, that was good; do you have a lot of experience in getting wasted?" She asks sarcastically. I know she's kidding, I mean she doesn't really have a reason to be mad at me.

"Well, I guess you could say that" I reply with a smug face. "I'll see you at school or something" I tell her and exit her room.

I think Spencer's bipolar or something. Her moods change way too easily. It's like one moment she's super happy and the next she looks like it's the end of the world. It's not that I really care…I was just observing.

I drag my tired legs down the stairs and out the door, finally making it to my car. I seriously don't understand why my hangovers are so bad. I would have thought I would be used to them by now.

I pull the handle to find my car locked. Right, keys, I need those. Checking my pockets I realize Spencer must have them from the ride home last night. I let out an exaggerated breath as my tired legs whine and I make my way back up the stairs.

I find Spencer's room again and lightly push the door open.

"Hey, Spen…" I feel this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I see the blond girl sitting on the edge of her bed, hands cupped over her face.

She muffles something about my keys being on top of the dresser without leaving her current position. I have this reaction to want to console her, tell her everything's alright, but it's really none of my business. I don't want to get emotionally attached to this girl anyway.

I quickly grab the keys and exit the room. I'm heading down the stairs when I feel a sharp pain of guilt wash over me. It feels like it's tearing at the insides of my stomach. I rush back up the stairs and slowly enter her room again.

She still hasn't moved. Before I know what I'm doing I'm sitting next to her on the bed rubbing soft circles on her back.

"Hey, don't cry everything's fine." I try to calm her with my soothing words but I'm pretty sure I'm making her cry harder.

I really suck at this. I mean who would have thought I would be helping people with their problems.

"No, it's not" She looks at me "Stop saying that."

Her eyes are pink and blotchy and I just feel…sorry, for her. I don't think I've ever even cared enough before to feel sorry for someone.

"Tell me what's wrong then" I know she's probably not but it's worth a try.

"You…" She begans shakily "You, don't even remember" She sighs and rubs off the water beneath her eyes.

I'm so confused. I obviously don't remember what ever was oh so important that made her cry. I mean if it was because of a cheerbitch I could honestly care less, been there, done that.

"Uh, no, I don't" I don't remember, big deal. I don't remember a lot of things.

Spencer has this big look of contemplation on her face. It's the look between wanted to yell and wanting to cry. I feel I should probably do something.

"Hey, but I'm sure whatever happened will work out" I try to sound chipper and place my hand on her back.

"Don't, don't touch me" She snaps at me looking me square in the eye. Even through out the crying and redness of her eyes they're so blue, so, so blue.

She continues looking at me in the eyes and I continue staring into hers for the longest time.

"You kissed me" She finally lets out.

The pain is back in my stomach. My insides are definitely burning and I hate it. I hate this feeling. I say the only thing that I can think of, the only thing I know won't hurt me in the end.

"I was drunk"


End file.
